Humanity's Strongest Soldier-The Human
by GreyishSky
Summary: In which Levi waxes philosophy about his opinions, which is something we can frankly never get enough of.
1. Chapter 1

You cannot tell a man he has not lived a full life when he is dying. dead already.

when his own blood is pooling around him, when he asks nothing more than a reassurance of his worth when he can no longer keep on proving it any longer.

my hand is dark with him, and that doesn't bother me. that doesn't. For his blood is pure and honest. He isn't soaked with hate like so many things in this world. He died a good man, and really, what more could you ask from a soldier than that? He was filled with courage. He was prepared to die.

So I tell him all right things.

You did great.

You helped humanity live on.

Your strength will continue in me.

_I_ will eradicate every last Titan.

It's true. Anyone who knows me knows me to be notoriously blunt. it's true. It's all the truth.

Listen to all that shit they tell you. about being prepared to die for your world, for humankind. You listen, and you nod your head. I'm guessing you believe that it's all good and true. that you are convinced that you are prepared to lose everything for… Humanity.

They tell you that you need to act as one machine. That you must lose yourself to stay alive.

In cadet training, they teach you how to use devices that allow you to fly. It feels like magic, doesn't it. yet…

To fly, only to be shoved down to earth with one giant footstep. To be crushed without a thought. to be the flesh between a pair of ruthless jaws.

Where has humanity gone to?

It is gone.

We lose our humanity to fight the demons. And yet, we die as people. We die as fucking people! the fucking irony. Only at the ends of our existences do we regain what we were born to have.

He's gone, Petra says. my eyes fall from his, to our hands. i let mine drop from his, slickly and sickeningly. The arm falls with no resistance, and makes a thud as it lands. The fingers are curled unnaturally, as if I were still clasping them. I swallow, hard, and avert my eyes to Petra's.

I ask her if he heard me to the end.

Yeah, Captain. She says. Look. He looks so peaceful in death.

he just looks desperate to me. But the reassurance somehow makes it... almost bearable.

That's good. I say. What else is there to be said?

Levi!

I turn.

Erwin.

We're pulling back.

keeping composed doesn't matter around Erwin. He knows already. He knows me too well.

so to hell with it, right? To hell with human machinery. I'm not a machine.

Pulling back? We haven't gone as far as we can go. You're going to let my men die in vain? I say.

I cannot change the mind of the commanding officer. Erwin rarely if ever changes his decisions. But I'm going to have my word in first. Because I can.

The Titans have been heading north, as a group. Erwin states the facts.

As if he doesn't see the blood of our subordinate on the ground and on my hand. As if he doesn't see another piece of humanity lost, limp on the pavement like a squashed fruit.

and he does see it. He sees it, he acknowledges it, and he moves on. The perfect fucking soldier.

I see it all. i feel it all.

Do you think unapproachable people are the ones who don't feel pain?

Think again. Its the pain that makes us so unbearable.


	2. Chapter 2

There are some things that not even an army can change about you.

They can dull your eyes into that deadened stare, they can rob you of your moral conscience, and they can kill you without blinking. But because we as humans, are built as humans. we cannot be robbed of that desire to be looked at a different way.

friendship is very convenient. Makes yourself feel alright about the world, makes you want to stay alive.

but once in a short lifetime, there will be someone who wants nothing more than to let someone else be happy. Not for themselves. It's a beautiful, and cruel how truly rare it is.

They are the ones who will die first, usually. The army isn't about beauty. In theory, we have to lose our humanity to same the world. So love, love is not permitted.

So, leaning against a wall, I witness this as i have many other times.

That kid is an idiot. He does not realize the gift he has all around him. The girl. His _friend_, presumably. It so irritates me when they are oblivious to their own beautiful, enviable, emotions.

She is wholly concerned for him, for his own sake. She'll even threaten Humanity's strongest soldier. Tch.

It's all right, really. She cannot help her condition around Eren. It just happened that way.

a feel a warm breath on my shoulder, and, averting my eyes from the spectacle not three meters in front of me, i pat my horse's muzzle and walk forward, leading her along the pathway.

The only place is is worth blame to love someone is in the army, especially the scout regiment. It brings the force down. in theory, it is the key to the destruction of the corps. If you want affection, join the fucking garrison regiment. Nobody will blame you for love there. there isn't anything else better to do. It beats drinking booze anyday.

You must not have love, yet comradeship is permitted. But how can you stop from comradeship deepening into more than that? It's a hellhole trying to keep your distance, to keep alive. And once you're aware of that struggle, the ropes restraining you seem to tighten.


End file.
